Today's scenario:
Inside the Atlantic Center Mall, readying myself to leave by putting on my winter gear. A SSF approaches me...

SSF: Are you waiting for me?
myself: No, actually I'm not. Would you like me to wait for you?
SSF: Actually, I'm hoping you're waiting for me.
myself: Oh you are, eh?
SSF: *** flashing enticing smile *** Oh yeah, because...

She begins to reach in her unusually large pocketbook. As she passes her fingers through the contents, it hits me like a bolt of lighting: she's about to sell me something. And judging by her rags-to-riches beauty, she's about to sell me some bootleg perfume. You know, the one that sells on retail for $60, goes on a manager's special for $42, and is being sold on sale on the streets for $20.
I knew it was too good to be true.
Dammit. And on first day being 23.

myself: Wait a minute. Don't tell me; let me guess. You are about to give me the offer I can't refuse...
SSF:Absolutely! Boy, you sure are perceptive. Now, I'm in the area right now, have you ever heard of CK1?
myself: *** sighing *** Yeah, I've heard of it.

By the way, this is for anyone who may or may not have experienced this. This has got to be the pet peeve of living in New York. You get these annoying business entrepreneur wannabe's, who look like they're into you or something, and then they bring their ulterior motives. And in case you haven't been through this, you have been warned...

SSF:Well, *** sprays the watered down nice-smelling alcohol substance on me *** as you know, these sprays retail for about $60, our manager get these out in the public for $42. But today, I'm personally running a special, and you'll be able to get this for...
myself: $20, I suppose?
SSF: Like I said, you are very perceptive!
myself: Well, madam, I'd like to, but...
SSF: Now hold this. *** gives me the box *** I also have this scent for the girl in your life, and if you don't have one right now, I'd be happy to...
myself: Miss, with all due respect...
SSF: Hold on, wouldn't this make a great gift? *** sprays the scent on her, and hints me to smell her ***
myself: Yes, it does. But ma'am, I can't do this right...
SSF: I can't accept that. Can't is not in my vocabulary. C'mon, now. Just $20 for one, and it does make a great gift...
myself: Ma'am, I'd love to do this with you right now. However, I have an appointment to reach, so...
SSF: Excuse me but, where are you from?
myself: Right here in Brooklyn. My stomping grounds are five blocks away.
SSF: Wow, and you speak proper! 'Ma'am' and stuff... *** blushing ***
myself: *** exasperated *** yes, however, I do not wish to be late, so...
SSF: Oh, sir, oh please? I have already sold two, and I just need this one last one. I mean after all, it's Christmas...
myself: *** annoyed, yet symphathetic *** You know what, you know what? *** proceed to take out my wallet; out of it emerges $7 *** For all your time, here you go. You don't even have to sell me the parfum. Since you've been so courteous, here, to support your endeavours. Merry Christmas, *** embraced her *** and happy holidays to you.
SSF: Well, thanks you... sir. Happy Holidays to you too! *** flashing enticing smile ***


Now, I know what you kats are thinking:
What if there was something more there?
In those scenarios, there is usually nothing there. They want one thing, and it is in their best interest to entice you by any normal means to get it. It rarely gets beyond that point.
OK, hotshot. Why give her the $7??!!
I was sympathetic. It was brick cold outside, and she's selling this bootleg stuff. I have to give her credit for her communication, and her smile. Something of a K. D. Aubert type. What would you do if a K.D. Aubert type approached you with similar intentions?

You know what, don't answer that.

This is how I spend my first day at 23. Being suckered in by dames, hooking up friends who completely forget my birthday with stuff, eating leftovers from the birthday dinner; it was like I turned 22 all over again.

Bah-humbug.