"If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done..."

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blogs:
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template design based on Gina's webpage; done by Erin...

Sunday, October 27, 2002

You know, I tried to deliver the Friday Bonus Blog on Friday, but the damned thing we call Blogger did not want to work. I couldn't stand it!!!
The only extra I can add is that the first day at work went pretty well. And I intend to make the most out of this job. Which means discounts, and finally, my iPod!! I have "spoken", I will stand my ground; that before this year is over, I will acquire my iPod.
Other than that, that's it...
Now that Blogger is working properly...

Saturday, October 26, 2002

I guess I do have an extra comment to add before I go. And that is one hell of a difference I found between high school and college: the community. For those that go to Hunter College, they may understand what I mean. And maybe this only applies to us Hunter students. But one thing that is terribly noticeable is the lack of community in this school. As one student puts it, "unless you were in some after-school activity," there is a kind of emptiness that just succumbs you. As you pass through the halls, people look back not asking "What's up?", but rather, "What are you looking at?" It hurts after a while, and maybe one could get used to it. But not me.
In fact, I think about this married woman in my Business Law III class. She's probably in her mid 20's, short hair with the little pony tail, light skin complexion, she really looked mature. I've had class with her for about three semesters, and she never, ever, smiled. When she married over the summer, my friend and I thought the drought of happiness would be over. Boy were we wrong. She came back, same disposition, if not more of the same. Is it just the possibility that she has the facial complexion of someone who's mad all the time, I don't know. But you kind of get the feeling that it's a vibe of unwanted-ness. Like a "hands-off" kind of thing.
Obviously it's all been eating up since I returned from break, so I decide to turn a negative into a positive. And the result is a freelance that far from free flowing, just a series of thoughts that come to mind when I think of the hollow, but never empty, halls of Hunter College. Though I must admit that "Staying On Your End" would be just as a fitting freelance for this, for the benefit of releasing these thoughts, I decided to do a completely new freelance. With that said, from the other side...

A Crowded Hollow

Hollow walls surrounding hollow halls
I feel the empty stares of faceless crowds.
The only thing that will keep me holding on
is the destiny that awaits me a year from now.
The only safe harness that I find
are familiar voices I hear as they call me to them.
I feel to hold back the tears that I want to cry
For the lack of emotion that I feel
from others to myself, to others from myself
Am I not supposed to show emotion at all?
Is the fence that was built really that strong?
Is that bond of relationship not worth fighting for?
Sure, it provides a temporary solution
answering a temporary problem...
But when does it become a solution of permanence
not by dependency, but by association
that a family might share?
Could one's only existence be derived
by the roots it brings with them?
Then I pray that we not be condemned
marooned to our solidarity and fear;
that we may bring up a big family
that may fill these crowded hollow halls.

Well, I just found out that someone put 36 cents in my paypal account. Why I keep getting these small amounts of change, I dunno. But one assumption I've made is that they want more than a Saturday Night Blog. They want a Friday bonus. Well, for 36 cents, let's see if I can make your money's worth:

First, I would like to get off my chest that the possible war we might be going into sucks. I am totally, totally against war. Everybody involved in this picture in one way or another is far from innocent. Now, just because I'm against it, doesn't mean it will not happen. For it is "written" that there will be days of war and suffering. And it's how one survives through it all that matters that counts. Hopefully the closest we will ever get to feeling those effects is 9/11.

Second, because of my being against the war, people feel I am not patriotic enough. Let's get it straight. I am patriotic. Not 100% patriotic, in fact, not even 90%. But I am patriotic. Despite all the good in the US, how can I overlook the US involvement in this battle? How can I overlook the fact they enabled this war on both ends just so they can get their hands on the oil? How can I overlook the fact that this Al-Quieda/Taliban power (if that is the enemy, by the way) was a bi-product of US involvement? And even overlooking that aspect, how does one like me be patriotic and feel great about a nation who a century ago enslaved my ancestors?? Oh no, I am not anti-American, and deep down, I have forgiven those transgressions as God has forgiven me of mine, but they are still there. I may side with my country, but back Bush up, that will take a while.

Also, this Belafonte/Powell issue is really getting out of hand. In a time where black people should really stick together (despite its irrelevance to the situation), we discuss Powell's so called "Yes, Master" approach to Bush's tactics. Granted, everyone's entitled to their own opinion. But seriously, how bad does it look when one brother criticizes another brother using our dark past as an analogy? It just doesn't look right, at all. I will give credit though, Powell did dismiss the guy as cool as humanly possible...

Third, thank God they found the sniper, who turns out to be...
Black?? A father/son duo???
All I ask is that God help them get through the ordeal they put themselves in. Of course, one must consider what they went through that led them to these assassinations, so to speak. I pray for all involved, hoping that this truly is, the last of everything.
But I have to say, what if they think they found the sniper? What if it was just some rouse to appease the people that the situation was under control? What if it's a, dare I say, conspiracy? You know what, let me move on. And just be thankful it's over.

Speaking of which, I wonder what's up in Moscow. I heard that some 200-500 people from all over the world are being held against their will as a terrorist force held an Opera Hall hostage. Where was the Russian police? Did they ever find out the solution? So little questions, so little time.


Fourth, my two months of job searching has been put on a temporary halt, as I found employment at Crate and Barrel. I start Saturday in Stock/Receiving. Yay!! OK, OK. Why "temporary halt?" Because it's only a seasonal position, slated to end 1/5/03, if I live to see that day. Who knows? If they like me, they might keep me. But that's a long stretch. So until that time, my search is in fact, on halt. Damn, it feels good to have money once again!!

Another interesting thing happened, I stopped at Modell's where I used to work. And almost nothing has changed. OK, maybe some people I know got fired. But hey, it was as if I never left! That is a good feeling. I even bought some boots from them, too. Perhaps I gotta go to Mo's once again!

Let's see, what else is new...
Ah. I'm down to one midterm which is next Monday. The Genius of Modern Theater. Featuring plays like "The Wild Duck", "Spring Awakening", "Ghosts", and others. What differentiates this midterm from usual English midterms is that the stuff is based on what the teacher says in class; usually we would have to memorize some names and themes and stuff, but she left a lot in the open, so it is anybody's guess. I should study some more, but I gotta work...

Being the "middle man" in relationships to be sucks as well. I mean, I'm sick and tired of me liking A, A liking B, A telling me that A likes B, and me talking to B to see if he likes A, which after several conversations, would lead to the relationship between A and B. Imagine, the girl likes the guy. Through the buddy, the girl meets me, the middle man. The middle man likes the girl, and the girl finds out that the middle man knows the guy. The buddy is not cool with the girl the way the middle man became cool with her (for obvious reasons.) So the girl then admits she has a crush on the guy, which ticked me off slow-ly. Then later, she decides to ask the guy out, through the middle man (which is me!) What she finds out is that the guy is so cool and that the girl and the guy have one thing in common: the buddy annoys them. A lot. It led up to today, where they all go to the movies after two hours of unexpected planning. I (the middle man), having done my job in setting the stage, do not partake in the festivities (personal responsibilities, work the very next day, conflicts of interest... you choose your pick), awaiting the results next Tuesday.

Damn, I hate being the middle man.
And this is not the first time this happened either. For the sake of friendships, I will not belt out the people I've had this problem with. But I will say that they'll never know it was a problem. In fact, I'll go so far as to say that they knew all along, and probably have just used me to get what they wanted. But they'll never know that I know they knew.

Interesting that I speak of it, because I'm in another situation, one of those "do favors for the girl you like" situations. I never admitted to myself I like this particular woman in question. But I guess my attraction to her has always been there. In any case, we talk, and talk, and I've noticed she's very smart. But sassy. I didn't like that sassy vibe she keeps rubbing on me everyday. I've ignored it for a time, but now, it's become an annoyance. This situation escalated to Thursday, where I noticed it was getting nowhere, and fast. No sooner did I realize that there was no chance of a relationship happening, I found myself asking "What the hell am I doing?" and became determined to stop being a suck-up to her. The kliq says the feelings will pass when I see her on Monday; that all will be back to normal, and I'll still be attracted to her. But, there are certain things I can tell. And a dead end is one of them.

Did I say I was against the war? I did? Okay...
I finally got the new Rupee CD, which is off the charts. But every time I get what I originally want, something new always comes up, like Star Trek III: The Search for Spock Special Edition DVD; Spiderman DVD, new remix dancehall CD's, to name a few. Good thing I'm working again. Wait, didn't I say I had to pay bills? Aye, yae yae!!

I continue to learn Photoshop, and all it's cool plugin extras. As I explore my options, I find that Photoshop may be the only stop I need to make for all my graphics needs. At least this is one area Microsoft has yet to dominate in.

Right now, I am the combination of used, confused, vexed, depressed, wired and tired. I've been through too much already. And the semester barely got two months off the ground. Even the Rochester Jabroni's doing better. I mean, what's left to say? Out of my four classes this semester, only one teacher amuses me, and she's Russian. I can't really think of much to say...

... hopefully Saturday will be much better.

And that's my 36 cents. If you felt at anytime you were robbed 12 cents, then I can only promise that tomorrow might get better.

Saturday, October 19, 2002

Finally, the long road of back to back midterms is over. I just woke up three hours ago, and looking back, I know for a fact I didn't do as well on Money And Banking midterm as I wanted to. Oh, it's not that I didn't do good, I just didn't ace the sucker like I was supposed to. I did well on the other two midterms.

With the Genius of Modern Theater midterm a week and change away, I should go back to reading...

Yeah right!! *Laughing hard* I just stumbled on someone else's WrestleMania collection. That means Hart vs. Hart! The Iron Man Match! The I-Quit matches! Hulk and Andre! I believe it's time for some refreshments. So I will now sit through 24 hours of classic WWF action as only I can.

And with all this hard work, I finally reached that date where I will go for the road test. After all that, how in the blue hell does this jabroni get wheels to ride in?? How is he gonna ride without a license (that's l-i-c-e-n-s-e) anyway?? And where the hell in Rochester is he gonna go?

Not to worry. My Town car is coming. Soon...

Saturday, October 12, 2002

Whoa!

I needed just a couple of days to relax before the midterms start kicking in. And it's not like there a week or so away...
It's a matter of days!
So, to alleviate the pressures, I decide to go to a Knicks/Spurs game on Thursday. And I will say for the record that both teams were not up to their full potential. But I was impressed with the Knicks' 97-93 win. Once Sprewell comes back, this team might make it to the playoffs!
Also, I was most impressed with Danny Johnson's performance. The guy can rock the ball. Antonio McDyess, yeah, I'll admit he impressed me too. I just can't wait for the regular season to start...

Come to think of it, all the four games that I have been in, the Knicks have won. It's like I bring some sort of luck to this team. I remember last year, when the Knickerbockers played the Houston Rockets with Glen Rice. They won. I remember when the Washington Wizards (yes, I was there when Michael Jordan returned to the Garden) and the Knicks won. And how can I forget when they played Toronto Raptors at Christmas Day. And they won as well.

Wow, I hope that I'll go to Game 7 of the finals one day, as the Knicks either play the Lakers or the Kings, and watch this team win their first title in over 35 years. What a sight that'll be...

Back to reality. Lakers Rule. And my Money and Banking midterm on Tuesday. Better hit the study guide...

Tuesday, October 08, 2002

Ah. Another week.
I just like to big up "Infinite" and his new blogspot. Like all newcomers, his site will need some caring to here and there. But it'll be awesome, I'm sure.

Okay, I have procrastinated a little. The top 100/100 list isn't completed as yet, because I want to absolutely sure of what I put in there. Besides, it's nearing Midterm week. I need all my concentration. With that said, if I don't blog like I should (like I ever really do), then forgive me. Who knows, I'll have a freelance ready as well!

Wednesday, October 02, 2002

Ok. I haven't done it as yet. But I will get to it. As soon as I get my new page in order...

Ok. If anybody notices a significant change, other than the fact the template has been changed, you'll probably notice that the TOP 50 songs list became the Top 100 list. E-mail after e-mail, people have been writing saying that I have left so much out of that list.

Well, I personally have had enough. So here is the revised top 100 list. Or should I say, there is the top 100 list.

Tuesday, October 01, 2002

This is intolerable!
I gotta wait days before the blog I post actually shows up!
And, on top of that, the template's malfunctioning!
Arggh!!!!

I can't believe it!
A milestone achievement!
One that will definitely cause for celebration!
Michael B. has his own blog! Hurrah!! Hip-hip, hurray!!

The first day of October.
And I feel guilty.
I look back on my top 50 list, and so many things are missing. Things like "Sailing" and "Swept Away" by Christopher Cross. "Spain, I Can Recall" and "After All" by Al Jarreau. "For The Cool In You" by Babyface. , yes, Barbara Streisand's, "Woman In Love". There are so many honorable mentions that should've made it to the top 50, but they didn't. Sigh, at least there in the top 100 spot.