Before I go, I should do something I have not done in a long time: post a freelance. So before I study my brain away and work my ass off, here's a Christmas freelance I wrote some years ago. The situations had a little to do with me (you'll catch on to which parts very quickly), while some I borrowed from other members of the kliq. It's kinda like The Christmas Story, but a little more modern. In any case, I hope you'll like it. Without further ado, from the other side...

The Christmas Bitterness... (Grudgingly)

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,
The little ones are tossing, turning, and squealing like a mouse.
Mother's stocking was hung and filled with care...
Because all of money put those goodies there;
Hangin' with Nat King Cole; chillin' in my crib;
Baby Jessica is mumblin' and fumblin' with her bib;
The Christmas tree hung beautifully through the night,
those little lights blinking with the star shining bright;
the carols being sung, everyone filled with glee;
I can't smile though, I fell and broke my knee.
Grudgingly I stood, making the attempt to sing,
looking out the window, seeing lovers do their thing.
"Gee, I wish that were me," as I watched the wind blow
While treetops glisten, & children listen to sleigh bells in the snow
Damn that stupid train, as it scraped my feet
I'm going to the kitchen to my brother I will beat
"Leave him alone," mother said, striking me with the spoon;
I wish I could take that spoon and smack the big buffoon
Woe is me, as I close this rap
This Christmas season... what a load of crap!