The pressure has been mounting.
It has been 48 hours since the incident. But it feels like an exam that I think have failed, while hoping I passed. And while the details of the incident are still a little blurry, one fact remains clear: On Tuesday, August 13 2002, I could be facing...
The last day at Modells.
I said, when I learned that I was going to be transferred to this store, that I was only being set-up for the kill, and chances are, I was, and am, absolutely right.

This is not the first time I, or anybody close to me, has felt this experience.

In fact, two years ago, a good friend of mine used to work at Sears in Rego Park. He started August of 2000, until his harsh and abrupt end in February of 2001. Because of his "minor altercation," he faced a trial of sorts of whether he was to be pardoned, or fired. Basically, we both knew what was going to happen. But, we hoped for the best, thinking that with his good performance record, it would be good enough to be pardoned, with a write-up or something.
But he wasn't.
And we spent the rest of that Sunday chillin', as though everything was cool.

Coincidentally, I have some weird luck when it comes to working in Manhattan. My first little job came at the Metropolitan Museum of Art Gift Shop at Rockefeller Center. I was young, just starting college, and enjoying myself. I had a moment or two, some complications with some associates, but in the end, it was cool. I didn't really want it to end, and then again, it didn't matter if it did end. I was released of my "seasonal part time position" January 1st, 2000. The first day of the new millennium, I came to work to learn that I will never have to do this until next season. I felt odd at that point, because it was the first day of the new millennium. I mean, I came on time and ready, I wasn't drunk or anything. It was just that my number was up. So I and a coworker I was cool with, Ira Hectlinger (don't ask how I remember that), left that day, and it was all good.

Two years after I was first hired to work there, I was hired at the GAP, courtesy of some friends in the store. I was in the kids department, restocking and organizing the salesfloor as the "replenishment team member." The guys I worked with were cool, the women there were awesome, and all in all, it was a job I could say I was happy in. My only problem was lateness. In balancing school and work, I would be a few minutes late on nearly every shift. I got my two strikes early on in the game, and was promised that next time would be last time.
Realizing that wasn't good, from late November on, I was on my p's and q's. Everything was in order, and I had control.
Then came New Year's.
I kept thinking, two years ago, I was released from working in Manhattan. All I needed to do was wake up 7:45AM, and everything would be fine. I didn't stay up late this time as I did all through the finals. I didn't party. I didn't drink (not that I do drink, anyway). I made sure everything went smooth.
Then I woke up... 8:45AM.
My shift was in fifteen minutes. And it takes half an hour to get to work. On a holiday, possibly a little more time.
My first reaction, call in late. I thought that if I used that as a safety net, I would be excused. 9:30 was not as bad as 10AM, or not showing up at all. I got in work at 9:40AM, and three hours later...
was released from the GAP. The third strike.
Oh well, only myself to blame. And that would be the only time I was ever fired from a job. But time to move on, right?

Now, enter August 12. I will show up to 3rd Avenue and 86th Street Modells, after being there a little over a month, in the company inside 3 months, to "face trial" for my actions that at that time, would have occurred 72 hours ago.
What actions???
One Saturday afternoon shift ago, I'm assisting customers and everything is cool. This one customer I help just happens to be the point in discussion. Next thing, the intercom blares for someone in footwear to pick up the other end of some line. While talking with the customer in question, I realize that I'm the closest to the phone, and that I was gonna have to answer it. Excusing myself, I use the speakerphone, as I have always done, to answer the call. It was the security guy telling me to watch out for someone in my department. He begins to describe the person, who exactly matches the customer I was talking to; the customer standing two feet in front me. Stating that there could possibly be an empty shoebox in one of the bags he's carrying, I immediately pick up the phone in hesitation. The customer, who has heard what transpired, now is obviously offended. I offer a manager so he can talk about the situation. But you can feel his emotions, as he raced to put the pieces together. Asking whether that was security, I nodded yes, but still insisted he talk to somebody before making any actions. As I proceeded to go the phone, he says it's OK, and leaves footwear.
"Well," I thought, "at least that's over."
I continue with other customers, when the head manager and another associate head to the first floor. Thinking that something's up, I finish with my customer and head up. On his way downstairs is the security guy, who apparently got in a verbal scuffle with the customer. Thinking that I sold him out, I explained to him what happened, letting him know it was a mistake. Next thing I know, I'm in the manager's office having a recap of what happened with the head manager. His view is that I placed too much heat on security doing his job while doing mine, and that I wasn't quite comprehending the possible danger I might have put him in. Well, though I really don't see what possible danger he was referring to, I assured him that I understood fully what he was saying, and apologized for my actions. I was sent home shortly thereafter, with my fate to be decided on Tuesday.

On the long way home, which consisted of a long Q32 ride in Queens, a B61 bus to downtown BK, a long B41 ride to Kings Plaza, and a short dollar cab ride home, I kept thinking of two things: The Gap and Sears. I kept thinking of that bus ride with a guy I've known all my life to Rego Park, knowing that it was over for him, but the both of us keeping hope alive. Maybe I'll get a write up, he kept repeating on the way. In the end, we ended up enjoying the day while it lasted, and his last paycheck as well. I think when I rode that 4 train to the 6 train to 33rd Street. I knew that this was strike three. I knew that I could be fired that very day, the first day of a new year. It wouldn't be the first time; but there is still hope. Hope that knowing I called, and aside from my lateness, I stood a chance. 12:15PM, I am called to a room surrounded by dark colors. At that point I knew... Strike three, I was out...

Perhaps I should call Alex and make him come with me Tuesday. At least he'll get to be in outskirts of the store as we trade situations. Like him, I can only hope that my 4 comment cards for great customer service; my willingness to work when I'm not scheduled, to punch in early, and stay late; and what some say is excellent work ethic will be enough for the general manager to pardon me for Saturday's fiasco. I can only pray that somewhere in his mind is a voice that says it was just one mistake. Other than that, he's a good kid...
But, my two days late, and me still being in the 30 day probation period will be the only things standing in my way. I feel it. I haven't got lucky in this department yet. No one I know has.
I am going to be fired for a second time. This time, for something even pettier than the first time.
I can imagine Nigel, Melvin, Ralph, William, and Miguel in their round manager's table, discussing my fate right now. Yo, he's stupid, I fathom one of them saying. Melvin wouldn't care if I stayed or went, Nigel I'm sure may want my pink slip, Ralph would be looking at the manuals to find out how to treat such a situation; and should that manual read FIRE ME, then that's probably what he would do. William would say that I'm okay, and it's Nigel's call. Miguel, well, it probably doesn't matter anyway. 'Cause I'm looking at a possible 4-1 chance that I'm being fired on Tuesday. Only God can change those odds. And I pray that that's exactly what will happen. And hey, if it doesn't...

At least Tavie will have someone to tag along with while job hunting this fall. I wonder if the GAP is rehiring???