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Wednesday, June 19, 2002

Hello again, cats and kittens.
Back from a long rest, and into a regular 20 week work schedule, my life is finally back in order.
To start things off, Maylene sent me this beautiful e-mail. And I'm going to post here. And will the real creator of this one please stand up...
In any case, here is...

Twenty Something Drama

For those of us in our twenty-somethings, this puts it all into words perfectly. They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know....and not like. You start feeling a little insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then you get scared, because you barely know where you are NOW. You start realizing that people really are selfish and Maybe those friends that you thought you were so close to, aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, but the people you lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize, is that they are realizing that too. They are not really cold or catty, mean or insincere, but are merely as confused as you and a little caught up. You look at this job you have. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing... Or maybe you don't even have one. That's even better.

You miss the comforts of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all. You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions seem to have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual, because suddenly you realize that you have set certain boundaries in your life, and are adding to the list of things that you find acceptable or not. You feel insecure and then so very secure. You seem to laugh and cry with the greatest of forces. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy, you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are.... or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or how YOU let them have that much control on your heart. Or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough spend time with to get to know better. You finally love someone.... but you also love someone else too, You cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person. Really you aren't.... One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot looks pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision on anything.

You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself, and while winning the race would be great, right now you would just like to be a contender! What you may not realize that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

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